Last Goodbye
by ShippingMergana
Summary: Merlin must give his final goodbyes before he journeys to the Isle of the Blessed to save Arthur's life, to save his destiny, to save Albion. He has saved the worst until last- The Lady Morgana. She maybe the King's ward and he maybe a servant, but they were friends. More than friends.


"Where are you going?" Gaius nagged in his usual fatherly tone at Merlin as he went for the door. He was dressed in raggedy nightclothes and still headed out into the freezing castle. "Your supper is going to get cold." Merlin shrugged. He halted for a second as if he was thinking. He shook his head and closed the rickety door behind him. The boy had not been in spirits. Who could blame him? Just a year ago, he walked into a world of danger, protecting the future king and a dear friend and it looked like he was going to fail. That is until he was told of The Isle of the Blessed.

The heart of the magic of the Old Religion itself. Gaius had made one too many trips to the Great Seas of Meredor in the past, all in search of salvation. Salvation that cost him greatly. He was not about to let Merlin make that same mistake. The old man shifted over to an old apothecary cabinet and pulled out a small leather roll wrapped with a lace tightly. He took one last look around the room and uttered words from the Old Religion. The surface of his eyes flashed a yellow-gold at the gift in his hand.

A cold breeze swept through the Pendragon castle and its eerie presence was felt most by Merlin. Making his way up the marble steps, he wondered whether this would be the last time. The last time he would ever see her. The Lady Morgana.

"What is it, Gwen?" Gwen paced up and down the room, biting her nail, furiously processing thoughts in her mind. It was unnerving; Morgana could not bear to see her friend struggling. "It's Merlin."

Merlin. That boy always managed to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was quite endearing- his clumsiness. His limbs dangled about as if independent from his body. He managed to knock a vase over or a cup over the prince's dinner on a weekly basis- much to Morgana's amusement. But something in Gwen's voice sparked off a fear in Morgana's heart. They were all close friends: her, Merlin, Gwen and Arthur. There were no titles and there were no quarrels, unless there was something wrong with Arthur's breakfast. But they all shared a bond.

"There's something that sticking out to me. He was distressed; upset this morning."

"We all are. Arthur is his friend just as much as he is ours."

"Don't ever change, is what he said. Like as if he was saying goodbye." Gwen grew adamant. She knew Merlin well and she could always tell when he was lying. He touches that unusually large ear of his and becomes fixated with the floor, avoiding eye contact at all costs. Merlin could never hide anything from anyone; he was definitely a bad liar.

A knock came at the door. It was slow and quiet. Ever since the Druid boy had hid in Morgana's chambers, they all had developed a sixth sense in working out who was at the door. A nervous Gwen shot a look towards Morgana, who remained confused. Gwen opened the door to find a weary-eyed Merlin standing behind. His blue eyes were tired and swollen as if he had just been crying. His jacket hung loosely on his thin frame, his navy blue nightshirt complimented his eyes but his neck was bare, naked, without his trusty red neckerchief. Whenever he begun talking, Merlin had a habit of putting his fingers through his hair awkwardly. Jet black and almost permanently scruffy; another quality Morgana found endearing about him.

"I was just, er, I just want to talk to Morgana...if she wants to.." Merlin stuttered over his words, nervous and appeared to be flustered. His sharp cheekbones were sharp as the cold shrunk his skin. Morgana appeared from the shadows of her room, still in her resplendent blue gown that flew lightly behind as she strode next to Gwen. "Come in." Morgana could tell he was in sadness and she could only do as much as offer him a warm smile and a talk. He walked in to the room, still alight with naked flames. Moonlight cascaded down from the skies and right to Morgana. It was a full moon; Merlin knew it was one of the worst nights Morgana would have as a Seer.

"Gaius is needing some help Gwen. He's almost falling asleep in his chair." Gwen had an image of Gaius just withering away with tiredness. He was powerless to the royals and the physician could only do so much as ease Arthur's passing. Gwen nodded understandingly and hurried off to Arthur's chambers, clicking the door behind her. She left with a sense of unwillingness. Jealousy. Jealous that her crush had been left in a room alone with the most beautiful woman in Camelot.

An awkward silence arose from the room. They'd both meet eye contact for a second and look away timidly. Merlin had one last thing to do before he left for the Isle of the Blessed; saying goodbye. He had given his goodbyes discreetly, to not draw attention to himself. He had been through Gwen, Gaius and even the bartender at the tavern but he had saved the worst of them all until last- Morgana.

"Gwen tells me you're going somewhere." Her confident voice broke the silence.

"N-No. Well, I am. But I'll be back." he stuttered again. Why was he so nervous? It felt as if words were stuck in his throat and he couldn't get them out.

"Really? You don't sound convincing." She noticed the same things Gwen noticed. Merlin looked down at the floor, tears welling up at the bottom of his eye. He looked up at Morgana.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"My Lady, I have come to thank you. There aren't many people out there who would do the things you have done. The Druid boy, Ealdor, I am eternally gratefful." Merlin had always used her title and she hated that. His words were too formal for their relationship but his eyes were surfacing pain and anguish of which Morgana could not ignore.

"Merlin? What is it?"

Merlin looked at her. Contemplating his emotions over his mind. The desire in his heart to tell Morgana was almost unbearable; still he could not bring himself to do it. The Great Dragon told him of her destiny. Of her alliance with Mordred. Her destiny could not be more wrong. Morgana had a kind heart, she loved Camelot- she could not be evil. Yet, every time Morgana had an argument with the king, a look in her eye told Merlin that it could come true.

_None of us can choose our destiny and none of us can escape it. _

"I can't."

"This is about Arthur, isn't it? You fear that the King will blame you for his death. I will not let him. Don't you worry." She would protect him from the wrath of Uther. The man who sadistically sips wine while murdering innocent sorcerers. His hatred has cost the lives of many- she was not about to let Merlin die too. Morgana squinted her eyes in suspicion as Merlin nodded unconvincingly. He decided that telling Morgana and then disappearing will hurt her more than not knowing at all. After all, Merlin knew what Morgana had been feeling. He was at that exact stage in his life not a few years ago and it hurt that he could not help her.

"You're saying goodbye, aren't you?" Merlin nodded solemly.

"My mother is ill. I must help her get better." he lied. Morgana had no parents: she felt almost jealous that he had his mother to care for. Hunith was a mother- you could tell by the way she cared for all of them. She treated Morgana as if she were her own daughter. Kindness: a trait Merlin gained from his mother, a trait that Morgana would truly miss. After a restless sleep and a horrible nightmare, she would always find a fresh vase of flowers by the window. Hand picked from the gardens of Camelot, each one carefully placed- it always managed to bring a smile to Morgana's face.

"Well...I wish I'd never met you Merlin. In the space of one year, I've probably gotten into more trouble than I had when I was a child." Morgana managed to get him to break a smile. His smile was like the warmth of the sun and even on this dark day, he managed to lift Morgana's worried spirit. She grabbed his rough hand subconsciously. She had remembered the first time she saw him. The odd-looking servant standing next to Gaius as she parted the crowd with her prescence. The red dress was intricate with golden leaves- designed to impress the ladies of the court and leave the men lusting after her. Morgana had felt unusually drawn to him. They shared eye contact and Morgana continued on selfishly. She smiled inwardly as she glanced back at the unsuspecting boy who had his jaw agape.

"Thank you, My Lady." He let go of her grip and walked back towards the door.

"Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell me?" Morgana called from behind him. She noticed the tears welling up under his eyes before he turned around, there was something more.

"Perhaps why you keep looking at me like.."

"Like what?" he stood by the door about to walk out. He altered his voice, trying not to sound upset so that Morgana would not see weakness in him.

"Like you want to say something but you can't or you won't." She moved closer to him, only a couple of feet away. Anxious, trepidation, anger she had felt. Surely, he could trust her. Merlin reached for the door again.

"It's nothing."

"I can help." She felt the words slip out of their own accord. An foreign emotion weighed heavy on her heart. "Don't." Tear tracks had just disappeared until a new waterfall of sadness covered his red cheeks.

"Merlin."

He walked back over with determination. Towards Morgana. He pulled her into a kiss, lip touching lip, tear drops rolling down cheeks. He slid his hand over her pale white neck and held onto this moment. This felt right. Like a piece of a puzzle clicking together. He broke away and held his forehead against hers. He didn't say anything, he didn't have to. All that emotion of underlying love for her came shining out in that spontaneous kiss. He ran his hands down her arms and gripped onto her arms that were held on his shoulders. He kissed her hand lightly.

"My lady." He exited the room, not looking behind. Morgana suddenly felt the cold. Goosebumps became prominent on her skin. She walked over to the safety of her four poster bed and blankets, still processing what had just happened.

Her and Merlin. It was _love_.


End file.
